Lord of the Trash
by Omnipotent President of Canada
Summary: Trash=dirty=Scrubio=Aragorn. Chap 4: Frodo and Galadriel?? WOAH! I organized everything so it's in order. A/N: All of these are from the movie script. You can find the movie script here:http://groups.msn.com/OrliRulessssss/lotr1.msnw
1. The Beginning

Disclaimer: ::Sniff:: I ::Sniff:: Don't ::Sniff:: Own ::Sniff:: Any ::Sniff:: Thing.  
  
Scene: Galadriel is doing her opening line...  
  
Galadriel: The world is changed. I feel it in the waters. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air.  
  
She said with pride, but then continued: Eww... I can really smell it! It smells so terrible, Aragorn, ^PLEASE^ go take a shower.  
  
Aragorn: HEY! Don't make fun. I used my manly cologne. Just go on with your line.  
  
Galadriel: Fine, for Celeborn's sake! Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it. There, happy now?  
  
It began with the forging of the great trashes. Three were given to the elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings, seven to the dwarf lords, great miners and garbage men of the mountain halls, and nine, nine trashes were gifted to the race of men, who above all else desire odor.  
  
For within these trashes was bound the strength and will to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived. For another trash was created. In the land of Canada, in the fires of Mount Fuji, the Dark lord Sauron forged in secret a master trash to control all others. And into this trash he poured his smelliness, his grease, and his will to dominate all dump. One trash to rule them all.  
  
One by one, free lands in Middle-Dump fell to the power of the trash. But there were some who resisted. A last alliance of Men and Elves marched against the armies of Canada and on the slopes of Mount Fuji, they fought for the freedom of Middle-Dump.  
  
Victory was near. But the power of the Trash could not be undone. It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that Isildur, son of the king, took up his father's sword. Sauron, the enemy of the free people of Middle-Dump, was defeated. The trash passed to Isildur, who had this one chance to destroy evil forever. But the hearts of men are easily corrupted, and the trash of power has a will of its own. It betrayed Isildur to his death.  
  
And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend, legend became myth and for two and a half thousand years, the trash passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, it ensnared a new bearer.  
  
Gollum: My precious.  
  
The Trash came to the creature Gollum who took it deep into the tunnels of the misty mountains. And there it consumed him.  
  
Ring: Yummy dinner~  
  
Gollum shrieked.  
  
CL: Oh crud! Not ^THAT^ literally! Okra.  
  
Ring: Oops, I ^DIDN'T^ do that on purpose...  
  
CL: Elrond, we need your help.  
  
Elrond: Bah... Humbug! It's always ^MY^ job. ::Snorts:: Why not the doctor over there do it?  
  
CL: ^THAT^, my dear Elrond, would be Charli, the psychiatrist/therapist.  
  
A/N: Elrond looks like Mr. C. (Spanish teacher), that's why he snorted.  
  
So Elrond healed Gollum, and everything go on the way they are supposed to be. Gollum: "It came to me! My own, my love, my precious."  
  
The trash brought to Gollum unnatural, F-artificial, long life. For five hundred years it polluted his mind. And in the gloom of Gollum's cave it waited. Darkness crept back in the forest of the world. Rumor grew of a shadow in the east, whispers of a nameless fear, and the trash of power perceived its time had now come. It abandoned Gollum. But something happened then, the trash did not intend. The most unlikely creature imaginable picked it up.  
  
Bilbo: "What's this?"  
  
A hobbit. Bilbo Baggins of the Shire.  
  
Bilbo: A trash!  
  
Gollum: Lost!  
  
For the time would soon come when hobbits will shape the fortunes of all.  
  
P.s.: The reviews are my moral support. So PLEASE review, and then I shall write more to make you feel ^satisfied^. 


	2. Arwen & Strider's Secret Affair

Disclaimer: In case you haven't noticed, after reading so many of my works, I do NOT own anything at all. Okay?  
  
A/N: I was going to edit only some of the words, but Sammid talked about the context and length problem, so I had a few things added. By the way, this is the part I really don't like, because Arwen's with Strider (  
  
Arwen: Why do you fear the smell? You are Isildur's trash, not Isildur himself. You are not bound to his fate.  
  
Strider: The same slime flows in my veins. The same yucky-ness.  
  
Arwen: You time will come. You will face the same junk and you will dump it.  
  
Arwen: The Shadow does not hold sway yet. Not over you, not over me.  
  
Narrator: They are now in the dumpster  
  
Arwen: Do you remember when we first met?  
  
Strider: Ya, and you smelled pretty bad.  
  
Arwen: Hey! I used my deodorant. Besides, that's not even your line!  
  
Strider: I was just telling the truth. . . Moving on, I thought I had strayed into a dream.  
  
Arwen: Long years have passed. You did not wear the troubles you carry now.  
  
Arwen: Do you remember what I told you?  
  
Strider: To get you your perfume for you?  
  
Arwen: Yes, wait, no, that's not the point I am trying to make here! Say your proper line already! God!  
  
Strider: You said you'd glue yourself to me with the gums in the dumpster, forsaking the perfect-smell of your people.  
  
Arwen: And to that I hold. I would rather share one bag of garbage with you, than face all the ugly garbage men alone.  
  
Narrator: Arwen gives Strider the pack of gum she found  
  
Arwen: I choose a smelly life.  
  
Strider: You cannot give me this.  
  
Arwen: Why not? Don't you love me enough to take it?  
  
Strider: Nah, it's just that Ms. B. said that there would be no gum chewing in school.  
  
Arwen: Oh, that really sucks.  
  
Then they went on about how Ms. B's "respectful" lecture/speech.  
  
Narrator: God! Get back to the scene already!  
  
Strider: Oh ya, oops, sorry.  
  
Arwen: I guess we were a "little" off-topic.  
  
Arwen: It is mine to give to whom I will. Like the star I was supposed to give to you.  
  
P.s.: By the way, I don't like Arwen, because she sucks!  
  
P.p.s.: Sammid, is this long enough?  
  
P.p.p.s.: Thanks so much for the review. Mucho appreciated. ( 


	3. I'll Take It!

Disclaimer: "You think you own whatever land you land on, the earth is just a dead thing you can claim. But I know every rock and tree and creature, has a life has a spirit has a name." Ok, I don't own anything. And the song "Colors of the Wind" just randomly popped up. Don't ask why.  
  
Who's Going to Take the Trash?  
  
Scene: Johnny and Cindy are fighting about who should take the trash out. The Fellowships were just sit back and watch TV.  
  
Cindy: I took it the other day, so it's your turn.  
  
Johnny: No! I took it last time.  
  
The fight went on, suddenly. . .  
  
The Trash: "Ash nazg Durbatuluk, Ash nazg Gimbatul, Ash nazg Gimbatul, Ash nazg Gimbatul!"  
  
Johnny: Dude, the trash is not supposed to be talking!  
  
Trash: Oops, sorry.  
  
Frodo: I will take it! I will take it!  
  
(Cindy and Johnny stop and listen to him. Gandalf closes his eyes sadly.)  
  
Frodo: "I will take the trash to the sidewalk. . . Though. . . I do not know the way."  
  
Gandalf: "I will help you bear this smell, Frodo Baggins. As long as it is yours to bear."  
  
Aragorn: "By my life or death, if I can help you, I will. You have my sword."  
  
Legolas: "And you have my bow."  
  
Gimli: "And my axe!"  
  
Boromir: "You carry the fate of us all little one. If this is indeed the will of everyone, then the sidewalk will see it dumped."  
  
Sam: "Ha! Mr. Frodo's not going anywhere without me."  
  
Elrond: "No, indeed, it is hardly possible to separate you, even when he is invited to a secret TV party, and you are not."  
  
Merry: "O! We're coming too! You'd have to send us home tied up in a garbage bag to stop us."  
  
Pippin: "Anyway, you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission. . . quest. . . thing."  
  
Merry: "Well that rules you out, Pip."  
  
Elrond: "Nine companions. So be it! You shall be the Fellowship of the Trash."  
  
Pippin: "Great. Where are we going?"  
  
Johnny: Umm. . . Dudes, the sidewalk is right outside of the door. . .  
  
Frodo: O~ ::Paused:: I knew that! 


	4. Frodo & Galadriel's Secret Affair

Disclaimer: DID NOT!! Not owning...  
  
*************  
  
Narrator: Hi, this is the narrator. My name is ThunderJMaster. I was hired by my sister, President of Canada, to so this job. I get paid well. So, anyways, from now I would be narrating. You can ask questions in you reviews, and I will be answering them at the end of the next chapter.  
  
*************  
  
Narrator: Others are sleeping. Frodo sees Galadriel walking somewhere, and follows her.  
  
Galadriel: Stop following me! Celeborn wouldn't be happy to see this!  
  
Frodo: But, Gaga~  
  
Narrator: She fills the garbage can with water.  
  
Galadriel: Will you look into the mirror?  
  
Frodo: There's no mirror! It is just water you use to wash your legs! I mean, what will I see?  
  
Galadriel: The future for our secret affair, I mean, even the dirtiest wisest cannot tell. For the ^mirror^ shows many things.  
  
Narrator: She pours the stinky water in to a silver garbage can.  
  
Frodo: That looks like a sink!  
  
Galadriel: Well, it IS my sink. I wash my face and brush my teeth in it. But Celeborn says it's a special "can". So, moving on to our point.  
  
Galadriel: Trashes that were.  
  
Galadriel: Trashes that are.  
  
Galadriel: And some trashes, that have not yet come to pass.  
  
Narrator: Frodo looks into the ^mirror^. He sees Legolas, then Sam and Pippin. They all look sad. He sees the Shire, filled with "Yorcs" and fire. Sam is seen with his ankles chained on a line with many other hobbits. They are all whipped. Frodo sees the Eye of Sauron, and poked it, I mean, he feels the Ring slipping in towards the ^mirror^, but pulls it backwards, falling onto the ground.  
  
Galadriel: Haha! You fell! Loser! I mean, I am so sorry to see that happen. I know what it was that you saw. For it is also in my bubblegum-sized mind.  
  
Frodo: Really? Well, what did I see?  
  
Galadriel: I, of course, for I am the prettiest, I mean, it is what will come to pass if you should fail. The fellowship is breaking. It has already begun. He will try to take the trash. You know of whom I speak. One by one it will destroy them all.  
  
Frodo: If you will marry me, I will give you the One Trash.  
  
Narrator: Frodo offers the Trash to Galadriel  
  
Galadriel: You offer it to me freely.  
  
Frodo: No! You have to marry me.  
  
Galadriel: Well, I do not deny that my heart has greatly desired this.  
  
Galadriel: In the place of a dark dirty lord, you would have a QUEEN!  
  
Frodo: Then I can be king! YAY!  
  
Narrator: He sings.  
  
Frodo: Oh I just can't wait to be king~  
  
Narrator: President of Canada is now giving credit to A. Katz Omnipotent King, Ruler/King of the World.  
  
Narrator: She changes, by the power of the Trash, and she seems very powerful. Then she spaz.  
  
Galadriel: NOT GLOOMY, BUT SMELLY AND STINKY AS THE DUMP! DIRTY AS THE SCRUBBY! FILTHIER THAN THE ATOMS OF THE MIDDLE-EARTH! ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND GLOOM!  
  
Frodo: Dude, you are so weird when you spaz.  
  
Narrator: She becomes normal again  
  
Galadriel: I pass the dirty test. I will diminish, and go into the west dump, and remain Galadriel.  
  
Frodo: But baby, we just met. Besides, I cannot do this alone.  
  
Galadriel: You are a trash bearer, Frodo, you offered it. To bear a Trash of power is to be alone.  
  
Galadriel: This task was appointed to you, and if you do not find a way, no one will.  
  
Frodo: Then I know what I must do; it's just, I'm afraid to do it.  
  
Galadriel: Even the smallest person can change the course of the future. 


	5. Going After Orcs for Merry & Pippin

Disclaimer: Not owning.  
  
A/N: This one is short. Story- short. Disclaimer- short.  
  
Scene: Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli are going after the orcs for Merry and Pippin.  
  
Legolas: Hurry! Frodo and Sam have reached the eastern sidewalk.  
  
Aragorn makes no sign of dumping.  
  
Legolas: You mean not to dump them.  
  
Aragorn: "Frodo's garbage is no longer in our hands."  
  
Gimli: Then it has all been in horrible smell. The fellowship has stunk.  
  
Aragorn: Not if we hold stinking to each other.  
  
Aragorn: We will not abandon Merry and Pippin to smell and odor. Not while we have deodorants left. Leave all that can be smell behind. We travel light.  
  
Aragorn: Let's hunt some air freshener.  
  
Gimli: Yeah!!  
  
Legolas smiles and they run off, and Legolas tripped over a rock and fell. Aragorn tripped over Legolas and fell on top of him. Gimli laughed so hard, so he tumbled and tripped over Aragorn and fell on top of him. It formed a pyramid: Legolas, the tallest one, being the base; Aragorn, second tallest, being the middle; Gimli, the shortest, being the top. 


End file.
